Understanding Bisexual Dating

Bisexual individuals face unique challenges in the dating world, from bi-erasure to navigating relationships with people of different genders. This guide will help you date confidently and authentically as a bisexual person.

What is Bisexuality?

Bisexuality means being attracted to more than one gender. It’s a valid sexual orientation that exists on a spectrum - not a phase, confusion, or indecision.

Common Misconceptions:

• “You’re just experimenting”
• “Pick a side”
• “You’ll cheat because you like both”
• “You’re actually gay/straight”

The Truth:

• Bisexuality is a stable identity
• You can be bi regardless of relationship status
• Bisexuals are no more likely to cheat
• Your identity is valid

Unique Challenges of Bi Dating

Bi-Erasure: The tendency for society to ignore or invalidate bisexuality, especially when you’re in a relationship.

Double Discrimination:

• Rejected by some in the LGBTQ+ community
• Not fully accepted by straight people
• Stereotyped from all sides
• Constantly having to explain yourself

Relationship Assumptions:

• “You’re straight now” when dating opposite gender
• “You’re gay now” when dating same gender
• Neither is true - you’re always bisexual

Finding Accepting Partners

Green Flags:

• Respects your bisexuality
• Doesn’t ask invasive questions
• Trusts you (no biphobic jealousy)
• Celebrates your full identity
• Educates themselves about bi issues

Red Flags:

• Fetishizes your bisexuality
• Acts threatened by your past relationships
• Expects you to “prove” your orientation
• Makes biphobic jokes
• Tries to change you

Dating Women as a Bi Person

Common Challenges:

• Some lesbians won’t date bi women
• Accusations of “straight privilege”
• Assumptions you’ll leave for a man
• Having to prove you’re “gay enough”

Finding Acceptance:

• Seek LGBTQ+-inclusive spaces
• Be upfront about your identity
• Don’t apologize for being bi
• Find supportive queer communities
• Connect with other bi women

Dating Men as a Bi Person

Navigating Straight Dating:

• Some men fetishize bisexuality
• Dealing with threesome requests
• Assumptions about your sexual history
• Erasure of your queer identity
• Losing connection to LGBTQ+ community

Setting Boundaries:

• State clearly you’re not interested in unicorn hunting
• Educate partners about bisexuality
• Maintain your queer friendships
• Attend Pride and LGBTQ+ events
• Don’t let anyone erase your identity

Dating Other Bi/Pan People

Benefits:

• Shared understanding of bi experiences
• No need to explain your orientation
• Mutual respect for identity
• Similar challenges and perspectives
• Less likely to face biphobia

Building Strong Connections:

• Bond over shared experiences
• Support each other’s journeys
• Celebrate bisexual visibility
• Create bi-positive spaces
• Be allies to each other

Online Dating as a Bisexual Person

Profile Tips:

• Be clear about your bisexuality
• State what you’re looking for
• Address common misconceptions upfront
• Show your personality
• Use recent, authentic photos

Choosing Platforms:

• LGBTQ+-inclusive apps
• Platforms with bisexual options
• Communities that understand bi identity
• Avoid apps with biphobic user bases
• Try bi-specific groups

Dealing with Biphobia

From the LGBTQ+ Community:

• Exclusion from queer spaces
• Accusations of being “straight passing”
• Gatekeeping and invalidation
• Stereotypes about promiscuity
• Feeling not “gay enough”

From Straight People:

• Confusion and ignorance
• Invasive questions
• Fetishization
• Disbelief in bisexuality
• Assumptions about your relationships

How to Respond:

• Educate when you have energy
• Set firm boundaries
• Surround yourself with supportive people
• Connect with bi communities
• Remember your identity is valid

Building Healthy Relationships

Communication:

• Discuss your bisexuality openly
• Address insecurities together
• Talk about boundaries
• Share your experiences
• Be honest about your needs

Trust and Security:

• Build trust through consistency
• Don’t let biphobia create insecurity
• Reassure partners when needed
• Maintain healthy independence
• Choose partners who trust you

Self-Acceptance and Pride

Embracing Your Identity:

• You’re not confused or indecisive
• Your past relationships don’t define your current identity
• You don’t need to “prove” anything
• Being bi is beautiful
• Your experience is valid

Finding Community:

• Local bi meetups
• Online bi communities
• LGBTQ+ centers
• Bi-specific events
• Support groups

Tips for Successful Bi Dating

Do:

• Be proud of your identity
• Seek accepting partners
• Set clear boundaries
• Educate respectfully
• Build supportive friendships

Don’t:

• Apologize for being bi
• Tolerate biphobia
• Let others define you
• Hide your identity
• Settle for less than respect

Resources and Support

Organizations:

• Bisexual Resource Center
• GLAAD
• The Trevor Project
• Local LGBTQ+ centers
• Online bi communities

Media:

• Bi representation in TV/film
• Books by bisexual authors
• Podcasts about bi experiences
• Educational content
• Positive role models

Remember

Your bisexuality is valid regardless of:

• Who you’re currently dating
• Your relationship history
• How you present
• Others’ opinions
• Societal expectations

Find partners who celebrate all of you, not despite your bisexuality, but including it. You deserve love, respect, and acceptance exactly as you are.

Be proud, be authentic, be you! 💜💗💙